Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Bachelor in Paradise?

Last night was the premier of my new favorite weekly train wreck, Bachelor in Paradise.  I told my friends that I would take a shot of ginger ale every time Clare cried.
It only happened once, so thus far Crazy Crying Clare has exceeded my expectations, but only kind of because she cried and poured her heart out to an audience of a FREAKING RACCOON.  I kid you not.  And the raccoon was all like:
Clare was crying because AshLee got upset when she asked Graham (some dude I don't remember) on a date.  Apparently, Crazy AshLee Frazier had claimed him as her property.  Remember this?
Well, you'll be relieved to hear that AshLee is still completely batty.  AshLee came on the show only because she hoped some dude I've never heard of, named Graham, would be there.  AshLee arrived with the preconceived notion that Graham and her were, in fact, married already.  Or something like that.  All I know is that when Graham accepted Clare's date invitation, AshLee ran to her bedroom crying and proceeded to talk to herself.  If not forClare's heart-to-heart with the raccoon, AshLee would've been my number one cray.

HOWEVER, there is a third crazy girl.  Elise Mosca, from Juan Pablo's season is making a concerted effort to equal Clare and AshLee on the crazy scale.  This was our introduction to Elise on the show:
Then she proclaimed that she was experiencing "connections" with Dylan...as in love at first sight.  I'm telling you, her brand of crazy is one to watch out for in the coming weeks.  I'm predicting a steady rise in intensity.

As far as the guys and crazy, all the mans went crazy over some girl named Lacy who didn't even make it through the first rose ceremony on Juan Pablo's season.  I'm wondering why she was even cast and why the guys were so crazy about her?
I haven't the slightest idea.

And let's talk about Marcus.  Why does everyone love Marcus?  Apparently he's good looking, but when I look at him all I see is a stalker/murderer who probably has a collection of women in his basement.  Why the attraction?  I just don't see it.  Plus also, in one sentence he's talking about how he's still not over Andi and with the next breath he's plotting to kidnap Lacy for ransom in love with Lacy.
Call.the.police.

What do you think?  Do you like Marcus?  Explain it to me.

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