Bachelor Contestants Announced!

Did you see it, did you see it?  My friend, Sarah, messaged me yesterday with the link to the Bachelor contestants and their bios.  Go here to see the primary source.  For my personal opinion and predictions, continue reading...

1.  Alexis
I like her.  I like that she wants to spread the love of Jesus and the message of the Catholic church.  I hope she doesn't embarrass it, but she probably will because don't we all?

2.  Amy J
She is a massage therapist.  I am predicting a super awkward touchy-feely first conversation at the initial cocktail party.

I hope I'm wrong.  Please no.

3.   Ashley

She lists her favorite author as Dr. Seuss.  (Along with others).  To me, this is code for "I don't really read" so she gets minus 5 points.  However, she goes on to mention pumpkin spice lattes which gives her plus 5 points.  So what I'm saying is my rating for Ashley is zero.

4.   Chelsie, Christine, and Christy

This trio, who I will call "Chelstinesty", are all the same person.  They are simply disguised and photoshopped in different ways.  So whoever is playing Chelstinesty has a numeric advantage and thus a pretty decent shot at Juan Pablo.

5.   Clare

I was initially attracted to the way she spells her name.  However, her answers are grammatically sloppy in a way this here blog never is.  Por ejemplo, when Clare is asked about the best trip she's ever been on, she replies: 
I have never taken a vacation. I've always worked my buns off and never made time.  Plus, I was never in a relationship that I could go on a vacation with.

Hi, I'm Clare, and this is my boyfriend, Relationship.  We are going on a vacation together.  Where would you like to go, Relationship?

6.  Kelly

Kelly lists her occupation as "dog lover."  I'm confused.  That's all.

7.  Nikki

"Is drunk a type of dancing?" asks Nikki, earnestly. 

The defense rests.

That's really all I have.  The rest of the bios were pretty standard and I'm super curious about who is going to be the Tierra of the season.  No one really stands out quite yet.  I can't wait for the season to start and to read all the recaps and tweets.  The best tweeter (twitter-er?) is Jennifer Weiner and the best recaps, in my opinion, are from  this blog.  She is the friend of Shay Shull.  Shay Shull, for those of you not Bachelor obsessed, is Sean Lowe's sister.  So I consider her recaps super legit and hilarious.  Just a few weeks more until:

Swoon.