How to Choose a Real Estate Agent
In order to find an agent, follow these simple steps:
1. Notice signs around you...who are people using? Is he/she selling houses? For us this was easy, since we lived in a small neighborhood and 99.9% of the people used one person. I will withhold her name here.
"I want no part in this nonsense."--Team Frowow's agent
However, if you contact me I will tell you because we highly recommend her. To be honest, Andres was a little nervous about using her because of the monopoly she appeared to have in our neighborhood. He developed quite a few theories to account for this, none of which were ethical or wholesome. I am happy and relieved to report that none of his theories were true.
We do have a friend who is a real estate agent (who we also recommend), but personally we didn't really feel comfortable with a friend up in our financial grill. And if for some reason we were unhappy, things could've gotten awkward. And what if our children ended up falling in love and getting married? Oh Lawdy.
Team Frowow does not stand in the way of true love.
2. Call the agent and book an appointment
He/she will ask you questions that you probably don't know the answer to because your husband doesn't know you're actually calling to make an appointment. Flub your way through in an effort to sound completely legit. It's also best to do this in a quiet environment, i.e., not in the bathroom at work while pumping. Whatevs, man.
Just so you are prepared, your agent will probably ask what model of home you own. There is a better answer to this than "the small one with the curvy arch thingy between the dining area and kitchen," but I don't know what it is.
He or she will probably also ask what upgrades you've done. I think I mumbled something about how we painted 2 whole rooms, and maybe I possibly mentioned that our toilets were super clean and we've never worn shoes on the carpet, do we get points for that?
3. Meet the agent
When your agent arrives at your door, try not to look surprised. He or she will most likely look nothing like their sign. I thought our agent was about 50 and Andres thought she would be 17. (She is neither, but if you average those numbers together Team Frowow earns points). You may want to practice looking calm in the mirror.
4. Listen to the spiel
Our agent came armed with a binder full of information and statistics. Andres was all:
To be honest, her two hour spiel could've been 1 hour and 55 minutes shorter, but I'm not most people and it actually is GOOD that she had plenty to say. Beware of those who don't.
4. Ask questions
I will divide this section into two parts.
Part One: Questions to ask in your head
This one is vitally important:
Can I see my husband and I arguing in front of this person?
Because you will, my dear. You will.
Because you will, my dear. You will.
and
Can I see us giggling on the phone at 11 pm trying to do square footage math?
Because you will do that too.
Do you have a boyfriend?
Pertinent information. Not only did she answer without skipping a beat, she gave enough romantic background information to let me know she wasn't going to be "all professional, all the time." Because selling a house is emotional, you don't want to go through it with someone who's all:
I'm the one on the right.
One more piece of advice: if the agent reminds you of any HGTV agent in the slightest way just say no.
So, there you have it. My comprehensive guide to choosing an agent. Armed with this information, you can go forward with confidence.
Next up is Part III: How to put an offer on a four houses. But not at the same time.
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