When I was engaged, I had my second grade students write a paragraph of marriage or wedding advice. I laminated their work and placed them in baskets at our wedding reception. Since we moved, I found our box of wedding paraphernalia and two things became clear:
1. I am so glad our wedding is over (moving sucks, but planning a wedding sucks worse!)
and
2. I am so glad I made my students do that assignment
Their paragraphs are so funny! I feel I can appreciate them even more now that I'm not a teacher. I remember getting compliments on their hilariousness from wedding guests, but at the time all I could do was cringe and think, "They misplaced periods! Where are the capitals? Why are you switching topics...pick ONE wedding aspect to FOCUS on, you chilrens!"
So, here you go. In the words of Leilani, This wedding advice will make your wedding a success so please listen up!
Also, you should never fight until it has been 5 months.--Riley
The rings should smell like pumpkins. Your decorations should be little bats and ghosts hanging down from the cake. It should smell so good you should smell it from a mile away! It will smell like three musketeers inside.--Parker
The boutonniere should be a red guitar. Just to tell you, Mrs. Frowow would not like that.--Zack
I also want you to be president so that I will get to see what you look like on TV for once.--Kiley
I also think you should not fight but instead you should have peace.--Ryan
I think you should marry in church not outside because if you are marrying outside your dress might be wet if that grass is wet. And your dress will drag leaves.--Nedhe
You should have turkey, stuffing, wine, water, apple cider, coke, cookies, pie, spaghetti, pasta, lasagna, pretzels, and caramel cubes for your feast--AnaClaire
The music needs to be wedding music, not rock music.--Abby
The biggest thing is to have kids. If you need help raising them get a "How to Raise a Kid/s" book. Hopefully that will help. After that you just keep a steady beat and have fun.--Ami
You shouldn't run out of the room and say "I have to go to the bathroom" when the pastor says "do you lovely woman like to marry this handsome charming man." Don't say bathroom out loud.--Lydia
Put whipped cream on the top of the cake. Now you put chocolate pudding on the cake. Now that sweet cake is going into your stomach.--Elana
You might make a big mess. Help each other, especially if it's a big mess.--Regan
You should have 9 inch sleeves or however long you need the sleeves to be.--Elissa
This is marriage advice. Do not dance in the house. Only have two kids. Do not kiss. Do not spend all your money or you will be poor. Do not watch scary shows. You will have dreams of vampires.--Douglas (Oh, Douglas. Douglas, Douglas, Douglas).
Here is some good advice for after you get married. You should climb Mount Mitchell in the Appalachian Mountain Range. I prefer you climb it in spring instead of summer. If you climb Mount Mitchell in spring it would look a lot prettier. After you climb Mount Mitchell you should parachute down. Make sure you find a good parachute. You should go with a parachute professional so you don't get injured. I think you will think this is some good advice.--Sohum
There is a lot of things you have to do after you get married. After you get married take a nap. Then you can party with your friends. You should invite some relatives over from your family and the person you marrieds family. Your honeymoon should be in the middle of the grass with a picnic blanket. Then smooch your lips and... Those are all the tips I have for you.--Jack (Yes, really! Copied verbatim. Even the "...". Priceless.).
Happy Wedding Planning if that is your stage of life. Happy Marriage to the rest of you!
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