How to sell your house part III: moving & shaking & the first offer

For the sake of my sanity, I'm going to skip over the part about negotiating the offer for the sale of your house and the packing and moving.  I'm still in therapy and I don't want to regress.  I will tell the story in pictures rather than words:

Bwahahhaha.  What in the world IS that?  I've spent the last 5 minutes staring at the pictures trying to think of something clever to say, but I can't.   So, moving on to reality:

There.  That's better.  And accurate.
Anyways, about 3 weeks before we had to be out of our house, we put an offer on a house mostly to avoid apartment life.  This is a HORRIBLE reason to buy to a house and I'm so grateful that there were multiple offers and ours wasn't accepted.

There was nothing wrong with the house (except for popcorn ceilings), and the backyard.  The backyard looked like this:

 Ugh.  I know.  Horrible.
H:  I don't like this house.  The backyard sucks.
A:  The backyard is green and private.  What is wrong with you?

I will tell you what is wrong with me. Do you know who can hide behind trees?  CREEPERS, that's who!

You see what just happened there?  You thought I was being crazy and irrational.  I just totally changed your mind.  And made you reevaluate your own backyard tree line.  You're welcome.

Well, we put an offer on the house and I figured that if we got it, it was meant to be because really the only thing wrong here was my neurosis.  In case you didn't know, putting an offer on a house involves math.  Our poor agent was trying to explain everything over the phone and I was like this:

So our sweet, kind agent walked to our house to explain everything in person.  Yes, WALKED.

Once we revived her, she explained everything to me and I understood probably 90%.  I should note that Andres understood 100% of the terminology and math the whole time.  We didn't get the house.  I'm really happy about that.

I seeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuu!

Now go cut down your tree line.  What are you waiting for?!?

Part IV:  The Second Offer, or, Iron Curtain Realty